help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
