I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
