OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
