if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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