u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
