I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Just cropdusted the office
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
