he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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