I'm drive I can fine osifer
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You have to summon your inner elephant
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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