guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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