but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
