You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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