the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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