I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
