I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
