I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
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Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
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My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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