I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
