Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
