Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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