What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
