Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
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margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
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I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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