I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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