I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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