I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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