my mouth tastes like poor choices
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
