Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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