he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
