I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Someone came in the potted fern
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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