youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
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I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
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I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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