I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
