You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize