I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
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