Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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