If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
