you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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