i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
