I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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