Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
