"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
