How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
