would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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