All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
