Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
