you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
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