Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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