I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
