I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
