So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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