let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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