i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize