That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
