He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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