If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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