Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
