ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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