"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
