I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
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