my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize