i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
