Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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