I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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