I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
