Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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